Starting Difficult Conversations About Money with Your Parents

Few conversations are more uncomfortable than asking your parents about money. Yet, avoiding it can leave families unprepared for medical emergencies, long-term care costs, or even disputes after a parent passes away. From a legal standpoint, talking openly now can save your family from confusion later.

Money decisions made today can affect not only your parents’ well-being but also the financial security of future generations. For example, without planning, a sudden nursing home stay can quickly deplete savings. Or, unclear instructions about inheritances can spark disputes among siblings. Or, poor planning can even negatively affect beneficiaries! 

Estate planning provides the framework to protect both your parents’ independence and their legacy.

It’s important to remember: your parents worked hard for what they have, and they should use it to live fully, whether that means traveling, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying peace of mind. But thoughtful planning ensures that spending today doesn’t unintentionally jeopardize tomorrow. With the right legal tools, parents can both enjoy their wealth and protect against the risk of long-term care costs or unanticipated medical expenses.

Families don’t need to know every account balance, but they do need clarity on:

• Who has legal authority to make financial or medical decisions if a parent can’t.
• How long-term care would be paid for, and whether Medicaid planning might be part of the strategy.
• Whether there are updated wills, trusts, or beneficiary designations.
• Parents’ wishes for how their legacy should be handled across generations.

The best time to talk is before there’s a crisis. If a parent experiences sudden illness or incapacity, options become limited and emotions run high. Having documents in place – such as powers of attorney, advance directives, and, in many cases, a trust – helps ensure decisions are made in line with your parents’ wishes, not out of last-minute necessity.

The bottom line is this: Conversations about money may feel uncomfortable, but they are an act of care. By encouraging parents to create or update an estate plan, families can strike the right balance: ensuring parents enjoy the life they’ve built, while protecting their legacy from avoidable risks. The result is clarity, peace of mind, and a legacy that lasts across generations.